


you love him dont you?

by your_good_ol_sleepparalysis_fandom_trash



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Im learning how to tag please bear with me, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pre-Slash, Short & Sweet, cases(mentioned), fluff :), i think..., maybe idk, this is my first fic please go easy on me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27826603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_good_ol_sleepparalysis_fandom_trash/pseuds/your_good_ol_sleepparalysis_fandom_trash
Summary: In small interactions both spencer and derek realize the same thing but at two different points.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Moreid - Relationship, but only if you squint - Relationship, hotch x rossi is not a thing, mentioned, no i do not take criticism - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	1. the moments

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on here i hope yall like it  
> (i couldn't find someone willing to proofread so im sorry if its bad)

_“You like him don't you”_

“Hey, pretty boy, what do you got for me?” An array of stares and murmurs.  
“Uh, Derek, y-your on speaker” the whole of the Atlanta sheriff's department went silent, spare a few whispers. Derek stayed quite a moment before uttering a small “sorry Reid”

“Hey Spence, about today-”  
“It's fine Derek, don't worry” He stopped the blonde, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
“Really Spencer. I’m sorry, that was unprofessional and I should've kept it between us and the team. I didn't mean to embarrass you or make you uncomfortable” Spencer simply nods, gives a half-smile, and walks off.

“Hi..”  
“Hi yourself.” Derek looks up from his work. he and Spencer are two of the few people who stayed late after their recent exhausting case. Spencer leans his elbows on Derek's desk.  
“Whatcha working on?” he asks, attempting at a conversation.  
“Just casework,” Derek responds, adding, “I told Hotch to go home, that I can take care of this and he should go be with his kid.”  
“Just because you can doesn't mean you should…” Derek looked at the younger man with a slightly annoyed, puzzled expression. Spencer immediately noticed this, and corrected his wording a bit, explaining himself.  
"I- just that I only meant that I understand you're always looking to help everyone and be there when the team needs you but.." a pause. "you gotta remember to take care of yourself too okay?" He places a hand on Derek's shoulder and gives him a small smile. 

seconds, then minutes pass and he still doesn't lift his hand. Finally, in the silence, Derek responds. "Okay pretty boy, okay." Spencer blushes at the nickname, something that he'd never done before. He dismisses the thought, silently hoping Derek didn't notice.

"Hey Spencer," The blonde turned to face the man calling his name. Everyone else has filed out of the room, it's just two of them nowHe squinted from the bright light and pain. "Yeah, what's up?" he responded dipping his head down, the light becoming just a bit too bright and the pain just a tad too much. "Are you okay? You've been out of it all week." Before he can respond, Derek begins again with "And don't just say you are, to get me off your back Spence, I know you're not.." the other agent just looks down.

For a moment he looks as if he's going to speak, bringing his head up a bit but he decides against it sinking back down. Derek sighs and walks over to Spencer, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's frame. Spencer slowly brings his arms up to Derek's back, returning the gesture. He could feel Derek hesitating as he knew Spencer was not one for physical affection. 

They sat that way for some time.

“You like him don't you?" Derek is snapped back into reality by his co-worker, Emily Prentiss. 

“What?" he asks. Emily only smiles, looking back to JJ and Spencer. JJ is talking about Henry and Spencer is listening eagerly to her ramble about his godson. Derek gives her a confused look. She rolls her eyes and begins speaking, 

“Everyone sees the way you look at him. What, you think everyone thought I was the only one doing the pinning around here? At least JJ and I got it over with, you're still holding out," He bows his head. "Why?" she asks. 

Back at the sheriff's office, after the last case, just last night. 

"I don't know," he responds. She looks at him sadly. "I guess, I don't believe anything good will come of it. I'd rather stick with what we have than potentially hurt myself or him" Emily pats his shoulder, then gets up to join her girlfriend wrapping her arms around the blonde.

Derek watches the couple and smiles softly, happy for them. But then shifts his gaze to the man standing next to them.

_I love him, don't I?_


	2. I love him, dont I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which spencer realizes in little moments, how much derek loves him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhh i wrote this ages ago and forgot to post sorry-

“Spencer hey,” he heard a voice call but couldn’t find who was calling.  
“Spencer.” There it was again. He felt a soft comforting touch, yet his body jolted away. His eyes sprung open and he was met with the person calling his name.   
“Hey hey hey woah, it’s only me.” Derek put his hands up in defense, as if he’d done something wrong to earn such a reaction.   
“You okay pretty boy?” Spencer merely nodded and rubbed his eyes in response before uttering a small confirmation.   
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Derek frowned, disappointed that Spencer still closes himself off like this. He didn’t want to urge the other man but yet, he didn’t feel content enough with his answers to just drop the discussion. So he pressed on.  
“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me right kid?” Spencer, a full grown man, not too much younger than Derek himself, yet he still insists to call the younger ‘kid’. Spencer smiled at the thought.   
“Yeah I know,,” his voice trailed off, getting quieter.  
“Okay so what’s going on?” Derek pressed again.  
“I thought I told you it was nothing!” Spencer retaliated.  
“I’m not dumb Spence c’mon did you really think I was going to believe that?” Spencer laughs to himself softly.  
“I guess not..”  
”so c’mon tell me what’s wrong pretty boy.”  
There it was again. The same feeling as before. Spencer knew better than to deny it but that didn’t stop him from trying. With a stiff tone he tried answering his friends request to share what’s been bothering him.   
Nothing would come out.

Some time passed and Derek began to let his concern show. He reached a hand out for Spencer, placing it softly on his arm. The other man looked up and sighed, rubbing his eyes.   
“God I- I’m sorry it’s just-“ Derek cut him off   
“You have nothing to be sorry for Spence I don’t want to force anything out of you. If you don’t feel like sharing then,” as much as it pained him, he continued “you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to” Spencer smiled at the comment.  
“Thanks Derek” he responded in a small voice. The other man smiled in response, a disgruntled smile.   
Eventually the younger finally speaks  
“You know, I still have them a lot..” Derek looks up, surprised at Spencer’s sudden opening up.  
“What?” he questioned.  
“The nightmares.” You can see the moment it clicks in Dereks mind. The jumpy-ness, the daydreaming the sudden increase in his already abnormal rate of daily coffee intake.   
“Spence, why didn't you tell me?” Spencer looked down and raked a hand through his hair.  
“I- I don't know, “ he paused a moment. “I guess I just didn't want you to worry about me.” Derek looked confused for a minute. Then his expression changed to a stern look.   
“Spencer, you gotta understand something. I care about you, that comes with worrying.”  
“Yeah I know it’s just-“ he trails off unable to finish his thought.  
“Let me stop you right there pretty boy.” Derek interrupted. Spencer was mildly caught off guard by the nickname. It had never really registered in his mind, he’d never taken note of it but….this time was different. He didn’t know why it just was. Maybe because this was serious and the nickname was supposed to be a joke, or because maybe he likes Derek-  
“Hey Spencer are you with me?”  
Suddenly aware of his surroundings again he looks up at his coworker. He must’ve been lost in thought and Derek was pulling him back to the world around them.   
“O-oh sorry.” He plastered an apologetic smile on his face. He looked at the empty room around him. Everyone was gone, even hotch. Spare a few stragglers coming in and out of the surrounding offices.   
“Spence-“ Derek noticed Spencer fidgeting with his pants and placed a hand on Spencer’s grabbing the youngers attention. Spencer noted the gesture flushing slightly and looked up as Derek continued. At first contemplating what he wanted to say, finally he spoke.   
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“They sat in silence for some time, Derek could see the cogs in Spencer’s head spinning.

Finally, he spoke.  
"I keep having this dream where uh," Derek saw apprehension in Spencer.  
"Every time I talk to you guys, we end up sharing emotions and how we’re feeling and Im..terrified. Terrified I’ll share something that will push you guys away from me. That you’ll think Im too nerdy, weird or broken, a-and one day the friendly exchanges or familial banter will altogether stop. That you guys will have finally decided to cut off any interaction that suggests a more than professional relationship, and we’ll go back to being coworkers again. Just coworkers.”

Derek stared at the man before him. Just stared. He didn't say anything, for a while, thus prompting a reaction from his friend  
“And I probably did exactly that, wow..” He frantically muttered to himself under his breath as he got up and began gathering his things. He felt a hand tug him back and looked down to see derek had grabbed his wrist. The two made eye contact and Derek spoke.  
“No Spence, stop,” Spencer put down his belongings but remained standing.  
“And do you really believe that? That we’d completely drop you like that?” Spencer looked up at him but stayed silent.  
“Spence...we’re your family, we’d never just abandon you like that.” Derek had now risen to meet Spencer’s gaze, who had looked away, presumably from embarrassment.  
“Spencer,” it sounded as if derek was asking for spencer to meet his eyes - a silent demand. To his internal protest nonetheless, spencer looked up at derek as if to say ‘here I am’. His eyes were red but he wasn't crying.  
Not yet anyways.

Slowly, derek brought his hands up to spencers shoulders, pulling the lanky man into an embrace. It was soft, loving and understanding. Spencer pulled his arms up wrapping them around his friend, gripping the back of his shirt as he buried his head in dereks shoulder. Derek rubbed circles on the youngers back, in an attempt to soothe him.  
“Spencer, we will never abandon you, okay?” Spencer nodded, not yet trusting his voice enough to speak. 

Slowly the two released their grip on one another, and pulled apart. Spencer quickly wiped his eyes, smiling at his friend.  
“Can I give you a ride home?”  
He really cares about me, doesn't he?

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> hihi i hope that was good, feel free to leave comments suggestions, critiques grievances or praises on your way out!


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